Someone once asked me if my daughter and I were best friends, since we are very close. We both said "NO" in unison and started laughing.
We can be close and still have a mother/daughter relationship. I'm very proud of her and tell her often. At this time in her life she doesn't want my opinion but I know when she's older and with a family of her own, she will. I want her to be comfortable asking my advise. Times change and situations are different so I hope I can contribute some of my wisdom but on the occasions I cannot, I'll give her support.
I never go to my mother for her advise or opinion. Her advise turns into an exaggerated gossip opportunity to my siblings and who knows who else.
Example: When my son was about 10 I would ask him, before he went to play with his friends, if he had homework and picked up his room. He would say no on the homework and yes on his room as he's running out the door (typical 10 year old). I mentioned to my mother that he wasn't being honest about this and I had to discipline him. I began getting phone calls from siblings saying that Mom is telling everyone that he has a problem and he's a compulsive liar. That was the first and last time I told her anything personal.
I think this is the perfect place to be able to tell our stories and in my case maybe get somethings off my chest that I have been carrying around for years. Without judgement or condemnation. There is alot I need to say and feel that by sharing it here, I may be able to forgive my Mom and myself for many years of anger, mistakes and hurt feelings. Thank you for this opportunity to share. I will be back and begin my healing soon.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. It's not like our close friends understand what we are going through so this is the perfect venue.
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